It's very easy for an actor to know where he/she was at any given point in any given year. Life becomes defined by seasons, shows, theatres. After Debbie, I moved on to inhabit the theatre space being rented by R-S Theatrics. The space was in Crestwood Mall (they are in the process of tearing the mall down currently) and it was..cozy, for lack of better word. A small dark space, shrouded in black curtains, with the audience practically sharing the stage (floor section) with the performers, yet with a decent light system; the R-S space was humble and modest but it still did what it was supposed to do.
The show was Jesus Hopped the A-Train, written by Stephen Adly Guirgis, and the character was Maryjane Hanrahan. I was so excited to play that part, I was personally invited to audition, along with a couple other candidates who are both very good actors. The script was, I feel, well-written but full of 2 page long monologues. I think the longest monologue I had was given to me before the audition and was over three pages. I tape recorded that particular one and played it over and over so I would have a better shot at getting the part. The rehearsal process was alright, not my favorite experience but not bad. It didn't help that the green room was freezing. But mostly I think it was because I just didn't have the character. Every rehearsal, I felt sadder and more frustrated because I felt like myself, not Maryjane. The director kept reassuring me that I was where she wanted me but I didn't feel it and it cast a horrible shadow over rehearsals. I was nervous to go and attempt to perform when I clearly wasn't any good. "Nobody would buy it," I thought. The thought of reviewers coming out and sitting almost on top of me and watching intently, scrutinizing, jotting down notes in note pads every few minutes only to glance up again or re-position themselves ... it depressed me.
And of course, it wasn't something I admitted. One, because I didn't want people to think I cared about what reviewers say (though in all actuality, I do. I need validation.) and two, because I didn't want people to know that I clearly wasn't in character if I noticed that Judith Newmark whispered to Bob Wilcox or that Mark Bretz changed his seating position. Of course, it's especially difficult not to notice these things when, like I said before, the audience is just a couple feet away from you and you're delivering your lines to the audience. I had no problem at all when I was in the scenes with other performers and paid no attention the silent spectators.
All in all, I'm glad I was a part of it. I wasn't incredibly familiar with Crestwood Mall because, like everyone else, I didn't really care to visit it. I did a childrens theatre skit with Greg Matzker's company a couple years ago there and I also saw the amazing, stupendous, spectacularly funny show, Cannibal: The Musical, at Crestwood Mall when Brian and Suki Peters independently produced it on stage. I do not exaggerate in my descriptive words for the show, it was truly a blast. It made all of the problems in my life just melt away into hilarity and I thank the cast and crew for that.
During my stint as Maryjane Hanrahan in "Jesus", I was asked to be a part of the Hot City Play Reading Festival. Shaun Sheley was directing one of the shows and I was honored to be a part of it. I knew Shaun from Lindenwood University (You see? Connections make a huge difference.) and I knew his style. I went by very quickly, it was only for one weekend, but the cast was fun and I was happy to be involved. The guy who played "Angel" was also doing the Hot City Festival with me so we carpooled a lot. Some days we had both rehearsals and would just drive directly from one to the other. As much of a pain as it was, it was fun.
After "Jesus", I took a little break. At the time of the show, I had started a short-lived employment period at Dillard's, standing behind the poorly cleaned perfume counters. I won't go into detail simply because I choose not to waste time displaying my displeasure with the store but let's just say that due to a supervisor (who is no longer employed by the company...gee, that's too bad), my job didn't last long due to my own volition.
Also, during this time I developed a bit of a care-free attitude. After all, it was nearing the end of the year and I didn't really have much to show for it. I had broken up with my boyfriend in the beginning of December when I realized that the relationship just hadn't developed over the course of a year and nine months. While it was upsetting to discover, I'm grateful that I did because I realized that I just wasn't happy. However, I digress. Why not just relax and enjoy sliding into 2012? I went out a lot with friends, ready to just enjoy friendship and have fun. I went to many Karaoke nights at a pub in Dogtown called Felix's. I went to numerous Christmas parties, a "White Elephant" party, and a New Year's Eve party. It was at Felix's one night that a man caught my attention. And he held it. I couldn't stop watching him make a complete fool of himself, singing karaoke ("I'm Just A Gigolo"), and dancing with some girls while others all around were singing with him, clapping and whooping. I won't go into it much, I'll save that for my other blog that isn't about the theatre but this man means so much to me. His name is Max and he is also an actor. We have been in a relationship since New Year's Eve, 2011, and we will be moving in together next month. So needless to say, it's going very well. :)
In the early spring, I began working at a waitress at The Drunken Fish sushi bar/restaurant but didn't even last as long as Dillard's. Yes, it was THAT bad of an experience. And before you judge and assume that I'm just nit-picky, I tried. I actually tried very hard to make a go of that place but I am convinced that there is just no pleasing those people and I'd advise anyone considering a position at that establishment (any one of their locations) to run fast in the other direction. I will not post any certain experiences because I like to think I am better than that, but please, just take my word for it.
During this time, I was contacted via email by a director named Bonnie Black Taylor. She was directing a scene that was to be presented in the St. Louis Briefs Festival; a festival of short lesbian and gay plays. She mentioned that she originally had cast someone else but that they would be unable to do it so, upon hearing my name referenced by a couple good friends of hers (and coincidentally, mine), she contacted me. Not only was I incredibly happy to have been contacted, I also didn't have to audition. She wanted to know if I could start rehearsals right away and off we went. There were only two other actors in the scene, an older black woman who was deceptively young looking, and a beefed up black man with the sweetest face and disposition you could ever hope to encounter. I can't remember the name of the woman but the mans name is Robert Lee Davis. We met for my first rehearsal at Robert's apartment but he warned us that if he got a call, he would have to leave. You see, Robert is an actual cop (he also played one in the scene) and he was on duty that night. We had barely started to rehearse when a voice from his communicator called out something. Robert apologized and got up fast (along with his partner who had been watching us silently from the kitchen area) and they left in a rush. Some time passed (we kept rehearsing, Bonnie read for Robert) and Robert eventually came back from whatever crime was being committed. We began from Roberts cue and everything was hunky-dory but soon enough, he got a call again and dashed out with his silent partner. I noticed that the director was really watching what the other woman and I were doing during the scene (we NEEDED to have chemistry since we were playing a lesbian couple). I remember really liking the writing and the characters and I was excited about it. Finally, rehearsal ended and Robert was still out. His wife had come home and was getting ready for bed so we let ourselves out. Unfortunately, I left something in the apartment (or maybe Bonnie did, I can't remember) and soon enough it was just the two of us in the room. She asked me what I thought about the other woman and if I felt anything, any chemistry between us. Honestly, I felt like there could be chemistry there, that she could be the type to intrigue me (and my character) but Bonnie admitted that she couldn't feel it between us. It wasn't too long after that I received an email from Bonnie, addressed to both Robert and myself, saying that she had let the woman go, having compensated her for her time, and will be bringing on someone new. That is how I met Wendy Renee, a wonderfully believable actor with a lovely complexion and a great and personable attitude. It was truly a treat to work with both Wendy and Robert. We, as a cast, had such energy and we were told many times that we all "clicked". There was a lot of improv rehearsals in which Wendy, Robert, and myself made up skits and bits and let the characters take over which I do really think helped out and made us understand the characters more (though it started to become a bit excessive and I didn't want to do improv some nights). But the Briefs Festival was a big success and, it being the first LGBT theatre festival that St. Louis has ever seen, it was like being a part of history.
Next came my very first Equity produced show, "The New Century", written by Paul Rudnick. I had auditioned for the company (Max & Louie Productions) twice in December of 2011 and was not originally cast in either show though I was happy to have made callbacks to both. In March, 2012, I received a phone message from the director of TNC, Ted Gregory, whom I had worked under at Lindenwood University. His message said that due to scheduling issues, the girl who was originally cast would not be able to do the show and he wanted to know if I was still available. Well, of course I jumped at the chance! I called him back immediately and everything was set. I began rehearsals about a week after accepting the part. Now I can tell you, "The New Century" was not my favorite show. I had trouble with the character, mainly. I mean, I have a tendency to read and perform characters honestly and sincerely. I have been told many times that I am a very believable actor. Yet, I couldn't seem to get the character of Joann down. She seemed almost cartoonish and two dimensional at times and I wasn't sure of it. Plus, the writing was just so bizarre at times that it didn't help. I mean, the character of Mr. Charles turns my baby gay by pointing his fingers at it and making a buzzing sound. Not only that but I didn't really understand what the director wanted from me, from Joann. I would get one idea and then, the next night, get another that contradicted the first. It drove my to such stress that I would feel like crying (and followed through with the whim sometimes). After all, it was my first Equity show and I wanted to be good. Better than good! I was playing with the big boys now! But no matter how hard and long I thought about Joann, I just couldn't pin her down. I received good reviews, decent ones anyway, but I still don't feel that happy about it. My baby doll got a great laugh when he was revealed in the final scene, totally "gay" and dressed like a cupcake with a bad hair piece. I joked around backstage, "I'm being upstaged by a plastic doll!"
But "The New Century" came to a close on May 20, 2012 and it's on to the next thing. But first, a little break is in order. After all, my life is changing. A new boyfriend, a new apartment (with said boyfriend), and new kind of relationship that I have not yet experienced. A vacation in Florida is also coming up. Oh, and I'm currently working at The Back Store and enjoying the sales experience. So all in all, life is good.
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